It's almost Oscar time again and Hollywood's A-list is busy getting squirrelly wondering if they're going to make the cut. And although we all know that the race for who wins the coveted golden god is about as fair and balanced as a Fox newscast, at least we have an idea of what the Academy's predilections are. Sure, Transformers grossed over $700 million worldwide, but the silver-hairs that put in the votes are about as likely to give it Best Picture as they are to hightail it to the next Hannah Montana concert. So what does the Academy like out of its major categories? Glad you asked.

Movie	Based on a popular/serious book	Based on a real person	High Nostalgia Factor 1	Major character plagued by...					Has James McAvoy in the cast 3
				Substance Abuse or Addiction	Crippling Illness	Sad, Painful Death	Prosthetic Make-up or Wig	Goofy Accent 2
A Mighty Heart
American Gangster
Atonement
Away From Her
Charlie Wilson's War
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Gone Baby Gone
Hairspray
Into the Wild
Juno
La Vie En Rose
Michael Clayton
No Country for Old Men
Sweeney Todd
There Will Be Blood

1 - Old actor, remade subject matter-something that reminds the Academy of their salad days.

2 - Not to be mistaken with being in a foreign language, which we all know decreases your chances of winning the Oscar.

3 - What, you think Forest Whitaker won The Last King of Scotland all on his own?

And the winners are La Vie en Rose and Charlie Wilson's War in a photo finish tie with six apiece. The rest of you can go home and take a nap—no need to clear away any space on your mantle just yet. Then again, this could always be the year the Academy breaks the mold and Michael Bay will get to strut his red carpet stuff. That is, assuming the writers' strike doesn't bring the whole house down anyhow.