Our Favorite Flawed Superheros
By Thomas Leupp
So-called "flawed" superheroes are all the rage these days, with brooding, traumatized Batman and alcoholic womanizer Iron Man leading the pack. But they aren't the only costumed crime fighters whose physical and emotional defects render them all too human. Here's a list of some of our favorite comic book characters and their real-world afflictions.
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The HulkSevere anger issues. Can't hold down a job. Still wearing torn jeans despite the fact that they've been out of fashion since 1989. |
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AquamanUgly costume and lame powers make him a frequent target of ridicule. Will have last laugh when global warming turns earth into one giant ocean. |
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Wonder WomanImmense powers intimidate potential suitors, making dates hard to come by. Costume makes butt look big. |
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RobinOrphaned as a teenager, he's forced by an eccentric billionaire to fight crime wearing a cape and a Speedo. It's the classic future serial killer profile. |
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The FlashSuper-fast metabolism forces him to eat constantly, leading friends and co-workers to erroneously assume that he's bulimic. |
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Martian ManhunterStatus as the only Martian resident of Earth breeds intense feeling of alienation. Afraid of fire. Addiction to Oreo cookies makes him a prime candidate for Type 2 Diabetes. |
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Doctor StrangeLiving in denial -- stubbornly retains the "Doctor" prefix, despite having lost his medical license. |
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Captain Marvel (Shazam)A comic-book version of Tom Hanks' Big character, Marvel boasts the mind of an adolescent boy. Major ADHD issues. |
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ThorHas a serious God complex, perhaps owing to the fact that he actually is a Norse deity. |
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Green LanternHis weakness is yellow -- the worst comic book weakness since kryptonite. How in the world does he urinate? |
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Professor XIs both crippled and bald, which might explain why there isn't a Mrs. Professor X. |
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The PunisherA pill-popping gun nut with violent, amoral tendencies. Probably a fascist. Is box office poison. |
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WolverineHas a bad temper. Uses words like "bub." Is Canadian. |
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BeastWildly hirsute. Excessively polysyllabic. Blue. |
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DaredevilPossesses a personality bland enough to be capably portrayed by Ben Affleck. Wears a suit clearly designed by a blind guy. |
What are some of your favorite flawed superheroes? Let us know.