Proposed Sequels to Various Classic Films

Finally arriving in theaters this week is the Sundance sensation Hamlet 2, a quirky comedy about a hapless high school drama teacher (played the inimitable Steve Coogan) who tries to save his school's endangered theater program by mounting a hilariously ill-conceived sequel to Shakespeare's Hamlet -- a play in which (spoiler alert!) everyone dies at the end.

Inspired by Hamlet 2's intriguing premise, we thought it might be fun to apply the same concept to some of our favorite classic movies.


Deliverance

Deliverance II: Bobby's Revenge - 35 years after being forced to "squeal like a pig" by inbred Appalachians, sexual assault victim Bobby (Ned Beatty) returns to the Cahulawassee River looking for a little payback.

Crash
Crash

Crash 2: Sig Alert - The stakes are raised in this incendiary follow-up to 2005's Crash, when an even bigger car accident triggers an even more improbable series of events involving representatives of an all-new collection of ethnic groups. Tensions flare when angry Inuits, Basques, Maoris and Tajiks collide on the streets of Los Angeles.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

The Further Adventures of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid -- After narrowly surviving their confrontation with the Bolivian authorities, Butch and Sundance make way for Australia in the cargo hold of a tiny trade vessel. Badly wounded and ill-equipped to handle the rigors of sea travel, the two outlaws quickly perish en-route.

Resevoir Dogs
Reservoir Dogs

Reservoir Dogs 2: Rabid - Mr. Pink (Steve Buscemi) returns to lead a new team of bank robbers, comprised of Mr. Beige, Mr. Lavender, Mr. Taupe and Mr. Plaid. When their intricately-planned heist goes horribly wrong, the crew suspects its most recent addition, Mr. Camouflage, might be a police informant.

Fargo
Fargo

Bismarck - It's time to fire up the wood chipper again! This time, the Coen Brothers introduce us to the colorful residents of North Dakota's second most-populous city in an uproarious sequel to their darkly comic 1996 hit Fargo.

Taxi Driver
Taxi Driver

Taxi Driver 2: Makin' it Rain - With violent crime on the rise, newly-elected New York City Mayor Travis Bickle (Robert DeNiro) decides to take matters into his own hands, launching a one-man campaign to cleanse the streets of sleaze and filth once and for all.

The Shawshank Redemption
The Shawshank Redeption

The Zihuatanejo Redemption - Locked up in a Mexican jail on trumped-up charges, Shawshank escapees Andy (Tim Robbins) and Red (Morgan Freeman) must find a way to raise the $50 needed to bribe the Federales into letting them go.

Midnight Cowboy
Midnight Cowboy

Midnight Cowboy 2: Back in the Saddle - In order to save the South Florida retirement community in which he now resides, an elderly Joe Buck (Jon Voight) must again don his boots and chaps and return to the lurid profession he once disavowed.

Apocalypse Now
Apocalypse Now

Apocalypse Now...Again - Seeking closure with his wartime experience, Captain Willard (Martin Sheen) returns to Cambodia, only to be captured and imprisoned by cult leader Colonel Kurtz's messianic son (John Goodman). When the U.S. government refuses to intervene, Lt. Colonel Kilgore (Robert DuVall) assembles a crew of elderly commandos to bust him out.

Easy Rider
Easy Rider

Easier Rider -- Their deaths in the previous film revealed to be an LSD-inspired hallucination, aging countercultural icons Wyatt (Henry Fonda) and Billy (Dennis Hopper) embark on a cross-country voyage in search of freedom -- and a decently-priced cup of coffee.

All the President's Men
All the President's Men

All the President's Men 2: The Return of Nixon -- Retired newshounds Carl Bernstein (Dustin Hoffman) and Bob Woodward (Robert Redford) are pressed back into action when Richard Nixon's zombie clone, having won the 2016 Presidential election on the promise of a stern response to the provocations of cyborg Leonid Brezhnev and his army of mutant communist lizard-men, is suspected of electoral fraud.

Got an idea for an unnecessary sequel to a classic film? Let me know at tleupp@ReelzChannel.com.



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  • VidGameHustla

    08/25/08 02:08 PM
    What about sequels that should never have been made for? Major League II, for example. The list could go on forever.

    "Hats for bats, keep bats warm."
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