| 10. |
Okay, we admit it. Compared to the other examples on this list, this clip of Quentin Tarantino arguing with a fat lady in a hat is pretty tame. But consider the context: How often, in the perennially chipper infotainment universe, do you see celebrities so nakedly expressing their contempt for the lesser beings they're occasionally forced to interact with?
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| 9. |
Like good radio, a good celebrity meltdown is all about transitions, segueing smoothly, say, from a mildly exasperated "Please…" to a more uptempo F-bomb. Here, velvet-voiced radio announcer (and popular voice actor) Casey Kasem shows how it's done, as he flubs his ode to a dead dog named Snuggles.
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| 8. |
As Banks chews out a loser on America's Top Model, she looks like the world's most beautiful Jerry Springer guest as she finger-wags and head-bobs her way through a rant that builds gracefully from stern moralizing to furious screaming. Ultimately, however, her message is too constructive, and not self-centered enough, for a truly high placing on this list.
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| 7. |
Tomlin is sitting next to Dustin Hoffman in a car. And sitting near some other actor who's in the driver's seat. And sitting in front of some other actors in the backseat, and all that sitting near people is practically like doing eight things at once, which apparently exceeds Tomlin's capacity to simultaneously do things by about, oh, seven. So she starts ranting like a drunken homeless woman cursing at an imaginary squirrel for peeing on her shopping cart. Seriously, we saw that happen once, and the woman sounded exactly like Tomlin sounds here.
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| 6. |
What if Murray from Flight of the Conchords was played by Joe Pesci in full-on Scorsese mode? Well, you'd probably have something exactly like Paul Anka doing it his way in the band meeting from hell.
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| 5. |
As Bale goes off on a clueless D.P. for walking into a scene while the cameras are rolling, his Welsh brogue makes him sounds a little less like a whiny, spoiled dweeb. But only a little.
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| 4. |
As a news-show actor, Bill O'Reilly doesn't have to memorize his lines, engage in any stunts, or hit his marks. Imagine how furious he'd get if he were actually an actor-actor, and had to do more than just sit there, in a comfortable chair, while reading a Teleprompter. Maybe McG can put him in his next movie so we can find out.
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| 3. |
Irked about rumors of his alleged drug abuse, The King shows today's boorish celebrity that even when you're threatening to pull out someone's tongue by the roots, there's room for politeness. Thank-you-very-much.
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| 2. |
Oh, crap. Lily Tomlin is being asked to do more than one thing at once again, and she starts off on another rant. Then, director David O. Russell goes completely nuts, throwing things, kicking things, exiting stage right, then, like Jason in Friday the 13th making a terrifying surprise reappearance through a side door! As the entire crew flees like the citizens of Tokyo trying to escape Godzilla, you realize what a lazy, totally uninspired ranter Tomlin really is. Russell, on the other hand, is the real deal.
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| 1. |
While recording a commercial for frozen peas, the genius who gave us Citizen Kane is so sure of his innate superiority, and the abject stupidity of the cretins paying for his services, that he feels no need to resort to threats of violence or extensive profanity to express his displeasure over the way the session is going. So classy, so calm, so monumentally devastating: Never has a superstar's withering contempt for the little folks scorched with such cool, ground-razing power.
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