Summit Entertainment has announced its decision to hire Chris Weitz to direct the Twilight sequel, New Moon. And because Weitz is best known for his role in creating the American Pie franchise, all parties involved seem eager to reassure legions of wary Twi-hards that their beloved series won't metamorphize into the wacky escapes of a nerdy but horny teenage vampire who is so eager to get his first taste of blood he bites the neck of his mom's freshly baked rhubarb pie. Weitz has even written an open letter to fans wherein he strikes the meek, obsequious tone of, say, a sports hero convicted of running a dog-fighting operation: "I promise to remain responsive to your hopes and fears," he exclaims. "I thank you for this opportunity and for your faith." Relax, Chris, you haven't done anything wrong yet. And if you feel the urge to throw in a joke about band camp or two, do it. It's not like you're running for president here -- you're making a movie about teen vampires.