Movies that teach us the true meaning of Christmas via contemporary twists on the Charles Dickens classic, A Christmas Carol, are as common as SUVs at a Hollywood gala to save the environment. But what about movies that teach us the true meaning of God's second favorite holiday, the 4th of July? They're about as common as vegans at a BBQ festival. Hollywood patriot David Zucker will attempt to remedy that with An American Carol, which stars Chris Farley's brother (Kevin P. Farley) as a fictitious version of patriotic scrooge Michael Moore. Based on the trailer, An American Carol isn't going to make anyone forget Scary Movie 5, or whatever edition of that franchise they're up to now, but one aspect of it does make for some interesting debate: Who is wearing more make-up, Kelsey Grammer as the ghost of General George S. Patton or Bill O'Reilly as Bill O'Reilly?